My last two blog posts were about Parikarma Maitri and Parikarma Karuna, which to mind provide valuable pointers for ways to conduct oneself and to live life. As maitri is the attribute that teaches us to be happy in the happiness of others, karuna is about igniting genuine empathy for others. The two other Parikarmas (desirable or sublime attitudes to imbibe) are Mudita and Upeksha. I would like to explore these two concepts in this concluding post about the Parikarmas today.
Parikarma Mudita
All parikarmas are the keys to a lock; the attitudes that we must internalize to reduce conflict, stress and distress within ourselves. Life should be an ongoing endeavor to become a better human being and yoga is the body of knowledge that helps us achieve this aim. The Parikarms are suggestions: Like maitri, mudita is about inculcating the attitude of happiness and of equanimity. It is important to try and find joy in the simple things of life; in the love that we are fortunate enough to have around us.
The definition of mudita as spoken of in Buddhism refers to sympathetic or altruistic joy. It is the ability to share our happiness with others and to appreciate the good fortune of others as a source of joy for our own selves. Petty envy and jealousy are corrosive emotions; mudita teaches us to steer clear of these. This is not too far from the concept that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved; a joy shared is a joy doubled! It is a valuable attitude to have in life; to be able to be happy for others as easily as we would be for ourselves and our own good fortune.
Parikarma Upeksha
This is another road that leads to peace of mind, self control and calmness. Stresses are normal in our lives. It takes an evolved soul not to react without rancor, anger and negativity to such situations. Parikarma Upeksha teaches us to be impervious and indifferent to evil things; not to let them affect us. It teaches us not to react and expend energy needlessly on such reactions.
Wise people give the example of Sant (Saint) Naamdev, who was returning from his bath when someone spat on him. Without even trying to find out who the person was, he went back and bathed again. The same thing happened the second time as well; he was again spat upon. The saint once again went back and had a bath without letting the situation anger him and without reacting with anger. The indifference to such insult caused the other person to feel shame without the saint having to react at all.
Upeksha is also related to detachment of other types: it is also about developing the ability to give up on feelings of possessiveness or proprietorship. This can be clearly helpful in maintaining our most intimate relationships: when we are able to let go of these feelings of possessiveness, we can give our partners the freedom to do what they deem wise. It can also be about relinquishing some control and about developing trust in those most important to us.