Many of us enthusiastically enter into the spirit of Valentine’s Day while many others have little time for the imported observance of the day. Many of us recognize it for the marketing gimmick that it is and yet others think there doesn’t need to be just one day of the year for expressing love; it can be done any day and every day. So leaving all that aside, I would suggest that you use this observance to make a little commitment not to someone else but to our own selves.
YOU are important
With all the many things going on in our lives, we tend to not prioritize ourselves; our desires and our own needs. And let’s face it women are more guilty of this than men – looking after the home, kids, even holding up the work front – there is little time left to look after one’s own self. When we do take out time for ourselves we often feel guilty. Perhaps it is social conditioning or it is just the way things are that our own priorities don’t seem to include us!
Self love is important
We were brought up being taught about the importance of selflessness, of putting the happiness of other loved ones before our own. While there is certainly merit in that point of view, self love is important too. We aren’t talking about conceit or narcissism or self absorption here; but of having a healthy relationship with yourself. Unless you love yourself you cannot truly love others. Loving yourself is about relinquishing guilt and about accepting yourself for what you are – a beautiful person with some faults, sure, but also with some amazing, wonderful characteristics that make you truly unique and one of a kind.
Keep in mind however that self love and self acceptance also don’t mean that you stop looking to improve and grow and evolve as a person. This is a process that can and should continue throughout life. The important thing is to not compare yourself unfavorably with others and not to use someone else’s yardstick for yourself.
Another important thing is to take time out for yourself; what is good for you and what you enjoy doing and not feel guilty about it. Once you are able to love yourself for yourself, you then have the equanimity and the maturity to truly nurture and love others around you. Plus at some point, relegating yourself to the last priority is bound to trigger some feelings of resentment. These are unhealthy for any relationship.
Make a commitment to yourself this Valentine’s Day!
So this Valentine’s Day, ignore those social expectations and avoid those unnecessary expenses. Instead reconfirm your commitment to the important people in your life and as importantly, reconfirm your commitment to yourself. Tell yourself that it is OK to love yourself and to put your needs and desires first at least some of the time. Look at it another way: if you keep ignoring yourself, your health and wellbeing are bound to suffer and then as a primary caregiver of your family, the family indirectly suffers too. So decide to make a commitment to your health and wellbeing; make the choices that are good for you and consequently for your family as well.
So, if one day the choice is between making time to attend your yoga class for weight loss (or just for a fitter you); and between cooking an elaborate meal for the family, make the right choice. Make a simpler meal or ask for help from a family member getting that meal together. But don’t miss your class. That sacrifice will ultimately be meaningless. Remember you and your well being is important; for you and everyone else around.
Happy Valentine’s Day!